And you allow that? Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. my heart goes out to u, its so hard coz if u keep bringin up the subject u dont want to come across as clingy or needy, im in the same boat myself and i just confronted him lastnight, i ended up finishin it, which now i regret, if u intend to bring it up again with him be ready for the consequences. But there's obviously cases where the spouse is comfortable with the environment like you described J. M. so I don't see an issue. My advice - Hangout with your friends, go places that interest you without him and make sure he knows your having fun without him but don't rub it in his face. Does that make sense? 1. Im in a long distance relationship myself, like we're in two different continents, it kind of ***** but its cool at the same time! I am one of those guys who doesn't drink often so when I do I also end up on a couch somewhere but I have good friends who protect me .won't let me drive etc.. I'm in the same situation. I have issues with my bf going to the bar because my ex is an alcoholic. I don't visit bars very often. I had an ex bf from years ago. My boyfriend wants to go clubbing alone My boyfriend of one year who is long distance at the moment thinks it would be totally fine for him to go to a club by himself. It's good "guy" time doesn't bother M. Now, if it was a strip club he was going to, my answer would then be no :). 05-17-2012, 01:53 PM steve1282 : Location: Dallas. And I suppose it would depend on that. He aint changing especially if you arent there. honey, if you are not doing anything you are not sopossed to to, then dont give it another thought. So, with that being said, if he wants to go out with his buddy once a week, its fine. I have a friend that I met on eharmony. He was drunk and he is supposed to go to work in the morning. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. Yes. if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. People need to stop being so sketchy and selfish. I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. Which causes you to start to question yourself (like M. today LOL) reading too much into it you know? That, combined with him expressing a desire to do MORE of this bar-going WITHOUT ME and spending less time with mePLUS he comes back from the bar, telling me about girls that are hot for himit's giving me some serious issues that are threatening our relationship. Just stop expecting him to be your boyfriend. We have a very stable relationship and have known each other for over 20 years even though we have only been married for almost 3 years. Yuck. It J. seems silly to worry when there is J. nothing to worry about. xx. Well, amazing how a six year old post gets a reply but upon reading, as much as six months ago someone needed clarification. Neither of which is good for a rel'ship..I mean, unless you're going to a bar to see a band..or maybe do karaoke or something. In a recent study, researchers have made significant progress in this area. It isn't driven by insecurity. He is allowed to go where he wants. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. And if I'm going for a walk, to the grocery store, the gym, or out with my best friend, I make sure he knows where I'm going, when I'm going, and when I'm on my way home. If after talking about it you still object to him going to strip clubs, that's okay! #2 The desperado. to get more tequila photos without a doubt. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 21 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By My husband and I are a like to where he has more female friends and I have more male friends that we are closest to, thankfully it doesn't bother either one of us. I would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that he knows and trusts that. NO. If not, he'll just call you the next morning and explain his night.. you know? My husband works at a bar on the weekends. Instead, men should conduct themselves. He helped make me feel comfortable in gay nightlife and, eventually by extension, being gay in everyday life. He asked for nothing in return. Has she always been that way, or is this a recent development? Ive broken up with him 3 times in the 6 yrs we`ve been together, But always take him back cos im a (sad) and lonely single mom. 2. If you try to control things he will be running for the hills. IMO, this is one of those make or break moments of a relationship. That's how long I have been here. BTW I can say that the majority of women I know are attracted to women as well (even if they don't act on it) so should they be banned from everyone=)Advertisementif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'mamapedia_com-box-3','ezslot_4',679,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-mamapedia_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'mamapedia_com-box-3','ezslot_5',679,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-mamapedia_com-box-3-0_1'); .box-3-multi-679{border:none !important;display:block !important;float:none !important;line-height:0px;margin-bottom:5px !important;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;margin-top:5px !important;max-width:100% !important;min-height:50px;padding-bottom:20px !important;padding-top:20px !important;text-align:center !important;}. i want him >, just relax ! How many people have you slept with in your life?? But its called trust. I'm in need of help my boyfriend and I have been dating go a year and a bit he rang me telling me he going to a work do and that he would call in the morning I hqvent from him since I have his wallet and everything I'm so worried he might be cheating on me what do I do ?? You still can go out. He would probably be pretty darn red too. As I mentioned above, he may just need some time to himself. I think once you are older and in a serious committed relationship - especially if kids are involved - those days are kinda over. It makes me panic. My bf lives in the same town as me but i only see him when he`s not stoned or drunk. My Hubby Do Not Let Me Go Out When I Wanna Have a Girl Night outwhy? https://www.mamapedia.com/article/question-for-married-women-only, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-hubby-do-not-let-me-go-out-when-i-wanna-have-a-girl-night-outwhy, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/poll-on-men-and-frienships-w-women, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-guys-just-be-friends-with-girls-updated, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-men-and-women-be-friends-2673, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/discussion-dash-having-single-friends-when-married, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/opinions-on-having-guy-friends. I'm 36 and he is 40, with two young kids who are adorable. Holy crap youre a dick. And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. I have seen some of the married women that do. No, again, that's weird and the main goal here is not to be weird. and i understand exactly what youre saying but when you do talk to him you have to have to bring up his drinking and your concern of him not calling. My SIL and I have this conversation a lot as she feels differently about it than I do. The "New Age" opinion. Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. When guys go to strip clubs to ogle "hot . But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying You can't get mad at him for spending time with his friends, just like he doesn't have the right to get mad at you for hanging out with your friends in return. Well, honestly, he only goes once every week-2 weeks. 568 views, 38 likes, 3 loves, 3 comments, 74 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from El poeta boaner: El poeta boaner was live. The constant fighting wouldn't help either, and I'd say that the relationship could be headed towards a breakup unless he wants to pay more attention to you. It would be awkward coz we usually hang out with each other alongside other people. It is so **** hard that I can't leave but I know I have a choice and it is difficult. In any event, simply do what you feel comfortable with and if you particularly don't want to go topless in front of your friend's fella keep your bikini top on, wear a onepiece swimsuit, or suggest to your dh that the pair of you slope off to another part of the beach where you won't feel so inihibited. The problem is every time he's with his friends, he forgets about me completely and he doesn't want other to know that he is into a long distance relationship. Again I'm so worried. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. ***My hubby used to get mad when we'd be out for drinks together and he'd go to the bathroom and come back and find a guy talking to M.. I have also felt the "most women are bisexual" opinion to be not true in my circles. LOTS of women purposely go after married men. This is emotionally manipulative behavior. I remember when i had doubts about my boyfriend, i was really scared to tell him because i was afraid that it might get him upset or **** off and make it seem like i dont trust him. Method 2 Keeping Yourself Occupied 1 Organize a night out with your own friends. We LIKE being home together. Like your man, my girl would often text me while she was out, telling me she was thinking of me. Can Guys Just Be Friends with Girls? I think you need to face up to that and . But understand that it is an opportunity for something to happen because you are specifically putting yourself in that situation. We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. I agree it is between the two committed people to decide what works for them! You get worried when you see your partner with someone else. and remind him that you both can talk about anything! My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortablein his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. :) Turd. I kinda had a feeling you were probably like meaffected negatively by a past relationship. I worked yesterday and then picked up my daughter and then had dinner and met her dad at the park so he could take her for the night. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? It doesn't bother my husband. So..your unease, even if you DIDN'T have a bad experience from before, is understandable. And I have to laugh at that "allowed to go out without your boyfriend" line you posted.sounds like that fellow wouldn't have been good boyfriend material, even if you had been single! Kelly1988 try it, be honest, truthful, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. If it was a few hours I'd be fine but he goes off grid for like 10/12 hours at a time and then texts to say his phone died, or he left it at home etc should I be questioning this? Going To A Bar Alone Is Cool If It's Just Temporary. We didn't speak since 6. A know a few guys who don't do that. I don't look down upon or judge others for hanging out with those of the opposite sex. Also, there can be some exceptions and ultimately, you and your partner probably know your relationship best, so just because they've done one of these things before doesn't necessarily mean that they're done with you or have completely checked out. Mostly for work, like happy hours. I don't control my husband. Just enjoy life and enjoy the relationship, take it day by day and go with the flow. 1. Women shouldn't have to act like Jason Bourne going to crazy lengths to avoid attention just to have a drink and listen to a band without harassment. Short answer: yes, it's okay. I do not drink but I go to have girl time and chat. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. Eventually I broke down, had a hard time with it, and she dumped me. He knew that I was not going to be hooking up with anyone. Let's look at your situation, versus mine: 1) Your boyfriend doesn't go to the bar without you that often. Even then hes moody and doesnt pay me much attention. I feel any interactions should be allowed but also feel that if you're in a committed relationship and someone has an issue with a particular person your relationship comes first obviously and while you won't be "controlled" by your spouse you should definitely take their opinion into account and compromise and adjust behavior accordingly. I feel like that is dangerous behavior. Each family and marriage/relationship should be striving to find its own balance which has its foundations resting upon fundamentals such as love, trust, hard word and communication. I did it again. He eventually earned my trust back and went to a bar with his friend. Anyways, so he is going out with him tonight, and I am trying my hardest to have faith and trust in him. We have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among our friends. "But if your partner has started going out more and leaving you at home, that could indicate that they've got one foot out the door. Am I being gas lighted? The veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one of the guys. L143myself It's kind of like the idea that Facebook ruins marriages. He does not even care if I go dancing cause he knows who I am going home to. Rather than saying, "My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends," and feeling like you're losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. You met him at a bar. I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. I wouldn't like the kind of relationships you are talking about, being with people(men or women) that I don't know well or interact with regularly. My boyfriend didn't call or text me in 4 days I don't know what to think ar My bf hasnt text or called me, in 3days Should I call him or Would a girl call you ugly (jokingly) if she actually thought you were? (We are both 29 btw) When I expressed my feelings of disagreement, he told me I'm being insane. The bar is really not my husbands thing, but I go out with my friends without him and he is cool with it. To get drunk. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. If it was only when he went out to have a bit of fun and didn't text through the evening, no problem. He didn't let me know anything. No, I could care less. he'll want me to stay in touch with him when I go outbut then once he goes out its MIA for hours and hours. blissfulblue While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. So no, we don't go to bars and not J. because we don't drink but we also don't go to strip places either and we definitely limit the amount of contact we have alone with the opposite sex. 10. I know that no matter who my husband meets, talks to, get hit on by, that he is devoted to M. and my kids and he feels the same way about M.. I was always like, I can't help it, we're in a bar and apparently I'm a hot commodity, ha! "[I]f you find your partner making excuses to not have sex and instead they pleasure themselves or watch porn, this may be a sign something is up with your relationship," Hershenson says. It wouldn't matter who it was it would be that they don't want to be around us that would bug M., ya know? Clubs and bars are places to find one night stand and occasional sex partners. Not just change the rule without saying something and then she can choose to keep playing or quit. he doesn't drink at all and i practically never do. The answer is to behave appropriately while there. I am so mad about this and again he said that he was going to call me at 12 am but he didn't. HOWEVERI think you don't have much to worry about. Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of my system too. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. As far as I know he doesn't hug other women, pick them up or flirt with themif he did I would have a problem with that, because it's not the type of guy I'd want to be married to. . FLirt but come home to M.. You know? BUT, remember, he is out, don't go ballistic if you don't hear from him, and leave him alone while he is out. Lots of ladies (myself included) go out to meet friends without spouses to bars, and any bar is going to have single people in it. I LOVE to dance!! What is good for one family isn't always what's good for another. he gets high during the week as well, i love him but this stuff is taking away from the love he is suppose to be giving me. 613 posts, read 1,015,221 . This is something we as humans can't help. You are going to be better off for it, and I think that rocks. Now, like I said..if this changes, and he starts wanting to go more, like my bf is, and it cuts into your alone time..then yeah. Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. When you're young it's fun, but at 42 seems a bit pathetic. We purchased the gift cert from the bar so we were seated in that section. Id quit that game and never play again. I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. Delivery & Pickup Options - 59 reviews of LongHorn Steakhouse "We went for lunch on a Saturday. It's his choice whether he visits strip clubs, and you're also entitled to your feelings about it. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. The "Cool" way to think. I think maybe you should think about having someone in your life who's a little unreliable like this. Be In Touch with Him. "And if . Don't make the same mistake I did. Some men J. have very flirtatious personalities. 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