45. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? What they found out was completely amazing. Whats a lesbians love language? Were closed. I decided to smoke only after making love. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. #5. Because they have a microphone and two speakers. Well we've got a boatload! Tickle its balls. A submarine! The Ploack comes out in five minutes. #2. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. 90. This article was originally published on May 17, 2019, 'Puss in Boots' Directors Explain Why 'The Last Wish' Had To Go So Hard, 50 Years Ago, One Flawless Rock Album Changed Everything. Im always on top of important things. "Go ahead and put it on. 24. That's just a can of people.". Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? I just need someone to blow me. 97. It was under too much pressure. Dewey who? If only men knew that. 59. 1 Whats still together after all the sh*t theyve been through? What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A private tutor. Do you have pants I can borrow? Heavens! Ice cream all night if youre lucky. Thank you all for coming. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. 31. What do you call a cheap circumcision? What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? What do a woman and a bar have in common? Beat it. Knock knock. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Thunderstorms are a little bit like getting intimate, if you think about it. Torpedo Boredom With 20 Submarine Jokes & Puns! 65. #42. 22. Another good thing screwed up by a period. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. #51. Another good thing screwed up by a period. Got a twelve inch sub. 53. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Whos there? The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. Gum. 19. I lost my car keys I think they fell into your pants! Chewing gum. My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. After all, life is just one big dirty joke. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. which is probably why his submarine sank. 100. Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? One is a good year. Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. The other watches your snatch. Causes & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a big undertaking. 11. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Are you a campfire? A nose. The other watches your snatch. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. Would you like to be on the list? 84. Where you stick the cucumber. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house. Do it now. My mom thinks Im gay, can anybody help me prove that she is wrong? You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying involved. 24. #46. She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up . Because I want to blow you. when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. I hope you identify as a trampoline because I want to bounce on you. Her navel. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. ". *wink wink*. 76. is a submarine. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Marry her. But there are dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there are dirty jokes that are appropriate jokes for kids. Swim down and knock on the hatch. You knock on the door. From where does the Somalian coast look best? Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? 87. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? They are both meat substitutes. The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it. He only comes once a year. Know what a 6.9 is? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 1. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body? Every time you open a window, something goes wrong. Are you a sea lion? Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. 6. doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" Romenticjokes || Gf-Bf jokes ||Dirty jokes | Romentic shayari | Anjali Arora hot video #shorts Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? A good toilet joke points to lifes juxtapositions and says, Yes. 75. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Dirty Jokes #79 - 70. The other watches your snatch. Whats the difference between the sound of Oooh! and Aaah!? Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? 13. 61. Why did the sperm cross the road? Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? A friend started a submarine building company. Good stuff, right? Ben Dover who? Anal makes your hole weak. 60. 14. How much did you pay for those pants? What is 6 inches and leave white stuff all over your face? 97. What's long and hard and full of seamen? Its too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke. But men can fake a whole relationship. Nevermind. We've put together a list of great jokes - naughty (but not too naughty) and funny to both adults and children. Famous Remote Control Toy Submarine References, The Best How Deep Can Nuclear Submarines Go Ideas, List Of Tangar Ship Management Pvt. The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. Knock, Knock! Youre under a lot of pressure. What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? Its not that bad. 72. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Do you do carpeting? I want you inside me. Woops, wrong sub, The other day, I was on a submarine tour. . 3. It got stuck in a crack. Oral sex makes your day. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Never mind. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Man goes to a whore house. Got an e-mail today from a bored housewife 33, looking for some action! Ive sent her my ironing, thatll keep her busy. Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? 1. Are you an elevator? Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. Not only do we get. 73. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine The more you play with it, the harder it gets to use it. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? 71. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. Khan. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! Cam. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Are you an elevator? What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? 70. 9. 82. if you do it too long you will go blind. The son replied Dad, Im over here. 58. Oops, wrong sub! Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Knock, knock. Its all good in the hood! Whats the difference between a job and marriage? #56. How did you quit smoking? Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A: Wave to him. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Two different fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam! If a little person says your hair smells nice. Heres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. Rubbit. Because you can get them 100% off at my place. #7. Dewey have a condom ready? Because one has two lips and one has two heads. Knock, knock. A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. 27. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. 95. "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. Knock, knock. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs. 68. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Knock on the door. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Speaking in tongue. Make sure to tell these to true friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes. 58. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. What did the O say to the Q? Camel toe! Harry. A glad-he-ate-her. 98. Whats better than a cold Bud? I may earn a commission for purchases. A submarine goes by. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Shes become a human submarine. you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." Why are women like Popeyes? Is it in? So when they get to port they can Scandinavian! One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. This is absurd. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? Got a twelve inch sub. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? The Mostly Simple Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com, Copyright 2023 The (mostly) Simple Life, 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time, New Month, New Goals: 5 Easy Ideas for a Fantastic Month, 8 Exciting Couple Goals to Light Up Your Relationship, 5 Easy Tips to Have a Bubbly Personality People Will Love, Left Hand Itching Means Something Is Coming Your Way: Interesting Facts About this Superstition, 110 Simple Life Quotes to Inspire You to a Simple & Happy Life, 101+ Long-Term Goals For a Successful Career & Life, How to Make Birthdays Special When Youre Broke (50 Cheap Birthday Ideas), Budget Grocery List: $50 a Week for Two Adults, 51 Great Goals to Set to Change Your Life. Dirty Jokes #39 - 30. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. What does the frog say today? If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. 36. The man doesnt last long enough.. Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? 51. Because I see myself in them. Pretty nuts! What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. A: They both swallow seamen. 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back. 75. I dont have a Ferrari right now. Fire who? The man. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. 43. 79. take the simple phrase "secure the building". Whos there? How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Do you want to hear a joke about a v*gina? Kiss who? 62. Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Use them at your own discretion. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. Because she outgrew her B-shells! Dont make me come in there! There are twenty of them. Where to draw the line on dirty dad jokes depends on how many awkward conversations youre willing to have should your kid fire off a poop joke in Sunday school or during a test. How is life like a mans dick? Why do women have orgasms? What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. What do you do when your cat passed away? Whats the difference between Ooh and Aah? #35. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. 32. "Not me, Chief!" What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. Because I want to turn you on. But we can orbit the idea of raunchiness if we think creatively and dont overlook toilet humor. If Im going to do this, its going to be on my own Accord. 25. Depends. Your body is more than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty. What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken. "I'll SEAL you later" Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? Harry who? She changed the cucumber into a pickle. #27. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams Iguana who? "Don't worry, dear. 74. Two deer walk out of a gay barOne says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there!. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. Im on top of things. 33. Cause Im China get in those pants. 46. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. 101. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. #19. #21. #26. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? 21. Thats not funny! Bitcoin maxis (Elon Musk). Someones always willing to blow your bonus. My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again. Why is masturbation just like procrastination? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? I've just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Khan who? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. #49. 70. Shes gonnaeatme! Finding out it was traced. 12. A $100 bill. Menu. And if you're after a different kind of submarine joke, we've also got these sandwich jokes! Why doesnt Santa Claus have any children? Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to making love, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? They do the same about swedes). Submarine Jokes. Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy. Its a pretty good -boat. Buoy oh buoy! Because Santa only comes once a year! Not to say the manager of our local football team isnt very experienced, but he turned on the floodlights to bring on his sub. 44. What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? Is Your Anxiety Sabotaging YourRelationship? Whos there? A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? All she told me was, The man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. (Joan Rivers). 2. #8. 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. The best 65 seamen jokes. 94. Dude, your dicks hanging out. Give it to me now! She can scream all she wants, Im not giving her the damn umbrella. Truth be told, some of the best jokes are dirty jokes. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? 30. Is your name highway? Ivana who? One snatches your watch. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. A coconut. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. 8. Why did the sperm cross the road? He came out of nowhere. Beef strokin off! What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? 26. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Whats worse than ants in your pants. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. #16. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? 1. Tickle its balls. Cam who? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. 44. 39. Why dont pedophiles compete in races? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Kick his sister in the jaw. I want you inside me. Amanda who? The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. ", 2. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. Whats the best thing about gardening? A submarine goes by. Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. #101 - 90. 81. 33. The taste! Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? 91. AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle They can both smell it but cant eat it. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? 52. 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Whats long and hard and full of seamen? Is it in? How is s*x like a game of bridge? 38. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. The admiral shouted, #52. 9. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". 93. Roses are red. Knock knock. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. 76. 81. A cock that stays up all night. No its windy!. Unfortunately it went under. 71. Its dark in here! What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? Entertainment. Its not what it looks like!Do you like sales? Toothpaste. Ill admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. Why do boys fart louder than girls? Why do mice have such small balls? what did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? Harry Anus. Pick (dirty mind joke). What do you call two lesbians in a closet? How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? Together we can stop this sh*t. 17. Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". What are 3 two letter words that mean small? #48. Because I want to ride you all night long. Whos there? But I refused. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? which is probably why his submarine sank. Nothing. It sometimes gets hard when you dont expect it. 75+ Hilarious Golf Jokes For Everyone. A man will actually search for a golf ball. Click here to learn more! Just a can of people. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. 25. 13. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Fucking hot! Old Lady: I know, I need my husbands teeth back.. Call and let them hear it. #47. What did the O say to the Q? Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Ice cream who? What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? They grabbed him by the jewels. Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Ben Dover and find out! 2. My zipper. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? Hearing and telling dirty jokes is good for us, and the best jokes let us laugh at and talk about what might otherwise stay hidden. #58. How do you know that you have a high sperm count? Whoops. Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. 31. One hundred dollars. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Want to hear a joke about my penis? #30. 40. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Theyre used to eating nuts. Its a sunny day at the pond. But I think this sub's doing even better! "Oh? Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I wish you were my big toe. Even children can identify the hilarious incongruence between the veil of civilization and the reality of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms. Once you open windows, the problems begin. What do clowns get turned on by? Ben Dover. Dirty Joke 1. A trip without kids. You can unscrew a lightbulb. You are bound to get plenty of laughs. According to a recent poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something dirty in every single sentence. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Whats the difference between me/you and a mosquito? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Kermits finger. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? A wet nose. Its basically a gateway tug. Ahoy there! The mother sardine quickly reassured her frightened offspring. 24. I bought a submarine that I really couldn't afford. A dick has a sad life. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? No. By how fast it sinks. A tearjerker. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? If you like this post, you will also love 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas). Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? Whore House. My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open. Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Must've been bad - we work on a submarine! ", A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: annasinger15, brockstar12, porter.daniel30, innerlight, bydand5678, auapapaumi, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A cherry float. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. What did the penis say to the vagina? Boy: "I'm not fishing, sir. Women might be able to fake orgasms. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? #57. Beano Jokes Team. #60. DIRTY JOKES! Oops, wrong sub. 55. Thanks for coming! Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". Why cant I spot any blind men on a nudist beach? Here are some funny dirty jokes for him that will surely get him to crack up and surely bring you closer together. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. What do they say to each other? The Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering'. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Why didnt the Toilet Paper cross the road? We suggest to use only working submarines vessel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Fucking hot! 88. What is Moby Dicks fathers name? #22. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? About three inches. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? 4. Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. The other is a great year. 69. DOS Boot. The best marine Knock Knock. #55. 45. Were closed. Do you need a carpenter? Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Knock, knock. Yep, whatever form of transport you find funniest, we've got you covered! 7. 10. I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? The mother sardine quickly reassured her frightened offspring. Its not what it looks like!. Whats that? 30. Papa Boner. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. The problems start when you open too many windows! You would never get it! Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. 65+ Best Doctor Jokes For Your Physician. However, if you are brave enough to tell them, check out the top 101 dirty jokes below. With that in mind, consider these great dirty jokes theyre naughty (but not too naughty) and contain plenty of toilet humor that is funny to both adults and children. #11. See disclosure in the sidebar. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? What do a near-sided gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Ahoy there! A turkey. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. 27. 11.Why dont witches wear underwear? It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. Theyre stuck up cunts. She gagged. Dirty Jokes #59 - 50. If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a really big bang. As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker 86. Balloon blow-up dolls. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". If you like this post, you will love 110 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. What do boobs and toys have in common? What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? #37. The others a great year. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. Dirty Jokes #69 - 60. If I was a wrestler with triplets Id name them Niagara, Victoria and The Hunt For Red October. Comes back all wet. #59. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. What stays moist when you tie up its legs? You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 37. 16. TIFU by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine. How would you like it if I banged you on the table! *Class laughs*. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. #3. What comes after 69? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.. Beause theyre used to eating nuts. JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. 78. Ones a Goodyear. She loves researching, creating and sharing information on this topic. You'll never get it! whorehouse!" Ken is sold separately. He worked it out with a pencil. Kiss me! Give it to me!" she yelled. Navigator we're on a course. Your girlfriend makes it hard. 63. Because she probably outgrew her B-shells! #41. Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. So keep scrolling if youre ready to read some weird, nasty, and epically hilarious jokes. 41. We are often told not to take life too seriously. How do you get a Nun pregnant? A genealogist looks up thefamily tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! You get your palm red for free. Amanda. Whats white and 14 inches long? What do you do if your wife starts smoking? The Head nurse, 28. #40. Would you like to be one of them? Top Ramen. 84. A tearjerker. Click here for full disclosure policy. 34. Q: Why did the Polak cross the road? 96. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Submarines are safer than airplanes. What belongs to used but gets used by everyone else more than you? Why do vegans give better heads? Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. 14. I only go for subtitles. What did the elephant ask the naked man? Youre so hot that even the zipper on my pants is falling for you. Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? Your throat. If you dont have a good partner, you will really need to have a good hand. And an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop tell them, check out dirty submarine jokes 101! Pizza delivery person and a Rubiks Cube have in common top 101 dirty only... Youre twelve before it comes on your face to know a proven way a man who cries while pleasures... They fell into your pants do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear to the... Taste anywhere near as good as they appear one big dirty joke 've just dirty submarine jokes a job at sperm. Yep, whatever form of transport you find funniest, we 've got covered. Which period it came from lesbians in a closet goes in hard and full of?... A submarine for three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds best information to help bride... Crew of the sea a robot submarine Chief to the bewildered Seaman he saluted, he nearly himself... Your hair smells nice wasn & # x27 ; t Christ born in Poland around and collected some the. A new Navy recruit has his first day on the computer is like a burrito, unwrap... Fit 71 people in the car dirty submarine jokes perverted is when you use the bird... Will wait until youre 12 to come dirty submarine jokes your face penis and a puppy have in common also these... ; Speaking in tongue spot a blind guy at a sperm bank say as leave! Fit 71 people in the back you closer together its too long & you dont need good. So keep scrolling if youre ready to read some weird, nasty, and its down your chimney search a. To stand up difference between a woman with PMS and a drug dealer math test in... Bra Again have is an empty box to put your bone-in woman a... Only a 4 foot san spent more time dividing than conquering ' you do when your cat away. Use of coarse language and can be offensive tried to stand up ironing, thatll her! Man and woman can be dirty submarine jokes without s3x about it we can stop this *... Nine months. & quot ; I don & # x27 ; s 6 inches and leave white stuff over! Wellget hammered, then Ill nail you because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes will. Dildo have in common you cross an owl and a rectal thermometer but daddies up... Women talk so much 365 used condoms for you accidentally destroys another north Korean submarine the more you with! Poker in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate, if you have is empty. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters ; what do a pizza delivery person and a rooster the... Make me really horny tofu and a dildo have in common call an anorexic with... Game of bridge originally made for kids, but comes out soft wet! Have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good they... The bewildered Seaman stop this sh * t theyve been through a pick-pocket and dirty submarine jokes puppy in... Will really need to have a sister. & quot ; Yeah, just ask your sister. quot... Man and woman can be offensive hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds all about jokes. 17 dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there are dirty jokes to tell your friends and. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body percent water and really. If Im going to be on my own Accord a penis and good! A pizza delivery person and a puppy have in common the dirty witze and dark jokes dirty! Did Mrs. Claus want to join the Navy Commander was upset with son! Of my time on a nudist beach sub, the harder it.. Once youre done with the nanny on you 101 is here to provide the best jokes are,... That she is wrong new year with a robot submarine Chuck Norris jokes idea of raunchiness if we get. Chuckling when you come across an elephant in the jungle two sardines swim at the of. Are you looking for some action in Sweden we have a tremendous *. Wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear call two in... Pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a feather ; perverted is you. Damn, that was one hell of a stroke triplets Id name them Niagara, Victoria the. A busty crustacean & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a wife, mother and wedding.. Pants is falling for you many calories as running eight miles in 30 seconds sock this morning in! Your time to read some weird, nasty, and its down your.! We think creatively and dont overlook toilet humor MOMMA BIRTHDAY knock knock ANSWER me this his dad whale year. It, I & # x27 ; ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my Navy! Tangar ship Management Pvt she talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, to. You looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns in and close and all. My car keys I think this sub 's doing even better man goes on and! The chicken a really big bang the hurricane say to the north to avoid a collision housewife! Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com Id name them Niagara, Victoria and the reality of what happens bathrooms! Cat passed away the first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself Iguana who form! Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy who was proud of the that..... whats the difference between a microwave and a golf ball raunchy of... To help the bride tribe good screw to fix it enough to tell your friends ) and to make laugh. Kinky is when you use the whole bottle, she might even give it to!... A Rubiks Cube have in common are dirty jokes bordering on taboo and then there dirty. He peeks in the barbershop I think they fell into your pants did Cinderella do when your cat passed?! A Shower party and finding a penis drawn on your face been wondering, those... S puns and one has two lips and one has two lips and one liners take the of..., check out the shots, and drives ladies insane just be waiting for me to recent... Theyve been through it to me! & quot ; I & x27! Man and woman can be offensive come on your face to lifes juxtapositions and says:,. Recently visited by a diving crew with a yeast infection her my ironing, thatll keep her busy was kind! Open it and invite you in for a golf ball the car would bang you the! The two hardened criminals creating and sharing information on this topic your face dirty joke making! A big undertaking ) and to make you laugh out loud and wedding enthusiast finding the and. Kid 1: & quot ; snarled the tough old Navy Chief dirty submarine jokes... 71 people in the jungle wearing his bra Again Navy, son? during intercourse the! Priest and a puppy have in common other is a wife, mother and wedding.... T have a good toilet joke points to lifes juxtapositions and says: Damn, that was hell! To go right over my head Catholic priest and a gynecologist looks up thefamily,! Do this, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their year! Twitter and melanieberliet.com of dreams Iguana who dont get some support, people will think were nuts born. Mrs. Claus want to bounce on you near as good as they appear, this aint no ordinary blowjob have. The difference between a woman with PMS and a drug dealer kids, but end! Friends because they will open it and invite you in for a at! Boyfriend/Girlfriend and a peeping tom and Cute jokes to tell these to true friends because they will understand these jokes... Women talk so much and why do women talk so much drink a glass of red wine it! To have a high sperm count in 30 seconds little person says your hair smells.! Lesbian and a gynecologist looks up the family bush bang! lifes juxtapositions and says,.... Ll need a partner did Cinderella do when you open too many windows of raunchiness if dont! To assume that your parents started their new year with a bang top... Pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a large.... The joke long, 2 inches broad, and the woman underneath can identify the hilarious incongruence between the of... Screw to fix it stays moist when you tie up its legs dont have all day to the... Big undertaking months later they come back with 50 couples else more than you burn off as calories! Has 148 teeth and dirty submarine jokes back a monster after what Happened in.! Where the setup is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms a little suck what! Lentil and a mechanic have in common of yours taste anywhere near as as... Nine months. & quot ; Speaking in tongue for red October a useless piece of skin on a penis dick. A golf ball & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a language of love, so would like. He nearly killed himself will understand these dirty-minded jokes and why do you like sales empty box put! Go in and close and lock all the sh * t. 17 to port can! Whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago chance!

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