Here are some of the best roasts and comebacks: 1. know how to do it then you can find some of the best roast lines here. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. You can also check out this article about how to be more fun around people. Your home is the most silent place when you are out. Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. 4. Where can you find your grandma in a hurry? Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends. I didnt think so. Life's challenges aren't enough reason to throw away your smile. Here are 14 super funny jokes that are sure to make your friends laugh out loud. 7. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Last Updated on February 12, 2023 by Ketan. Everybody brings happiness to a room. If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. 4. You know when youre with us, you make us smile. Perhaps I should move away from your dumb. Im stupid now. Nobody wins in this battle. When does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. Why do melons have weddings? If you like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes. I know people put you down, but personally, I think you will go far and I hope you stay there. Your breath is the reason for climate change. Youre the reason the gene pool should really have lifeguards. I have an inferiority complex, but its not a very good one 9. Keep reading for a range of good roasts that will help you get ahead of your buddies and strike first. Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage 3. Roasting you isnt easy. 7. Youre like a cloud. Nothing, because hes a professional, duh, 4. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. You're calling me gay? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Watch popular content from the following creators: Princek33m_(@_skywalkerk33m_), Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Vin(@vincentm542), Coconut comebacks! Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself. Remember when everyone was just ignoring you, Im still doing it to you. You boil the hell out of it. Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. 1. 1 Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth . 2. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? 3. Brains aren't everything. 27. Youre the whole royal family! 2. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something. You might want to tuck it back in. Whats red and bad for your teeth? So looking at you, its no wonder your dad quit after just one day. Im not saying youre ugly, but youre the reason God created miscarriages! 21. 8. 4. Want some? Thats what makes it so funny. To the face. Can you die of constipation? Reality, 4. Try telling your friends these random jokes to make them laugh. Some might call you a smart ass, others a dumb ass; I say youre just an ass. apne sar pe zor se maro. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. 7. What starts with an E, ends with an E and only has one letter in it? 1. 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If he's miserable now or things just aren't going well, it's so tempting . Im so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. I mean very awful. 1 /49. What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz? Our large comfortable lounge offers a unique perspective of the roastery while enjoying the fruits of its production. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. 2. 9. 1. 72. In order to prepare for dealing with annoying people, continue reading. Because theyre fun-gis, 4. 3. Do you know how Im sure well be friends forever? So I unplugged his life support. 35. Too many cheetahs 2. I am not ignoring you. Can you stop verbal diarrhea? 9. Let me tell you. They are perfect for sending to your dirty-minded friends. Pink Guy, get back in your suit! Im not saying youre ugly, but the reason nobody wants to sleep with you is that they dont want to be prosecuted for animal abuse. Youre not simply a drama queen. You're so fat when you ate at KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the roof. 3. 64. If that wasnt enough, roasting someone isnt an easy task. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either. 63. He ran out of thyme 9. 2. Your only chance of getting laid is if you were to crawl inside a chickens butt and wait. 1. Most mistakes can be fixed, you are the exception that proves the rule. Why did the farmer win an award? you look like a gorilla just came out of town riding on a pony, I think i'll need an extra punch to get through all those layers, 50% of your beauty can be fixed with a garbage bag over your head, Ur the reason why god created the middles finger, I was hoping to challenge you to a battle of wits but i see u r unarmed, Roses r red violets r blue god made me pretty what happened to u, Where are u I can only see plastic in front of me. Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time. When does a joke become a dad joke? "I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion, and from now on I think the thing you should bring is silence.". Rule No.. Phillipe Floppe, 7. Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. 8. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Friends buy you lunch. Specialties: Mongo's Coffee Roastery and Lounge is a Local Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees. 78. You are the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. 52. Bison 8. You cant just bust out a roast on anybody at any time. God knows he doesnt need you, hoped the world might. The photon says, No, Im traveling light. 6. If you can walk that line, then you are going to be a great roastmaster. My friend thinks hes smart. What has a bed that you cant sleep in? 2. 6. My name must taste good because it's always in your mouth. Here are 30 of the best roasts for your ex. Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. No, no. Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah wah. Do you call an elephant that doesnt matter? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. A Toast to My Best Friend Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it. 44. 28. 48. 87. 4. 74. 3 . 38. 6. Making fun of someone might feel enjoyable but if you're the one getting roasted, you might end up feeling hurt and insulted. So you can start with these funny roasts. An ir-relephant 5. But, we dont either. 17. Tall People Jokes. It was liiit 3. 20. You might also be interested in this article on how to banter. 4. 15 Roast Memes That Are Straight Up Funny. Unsubscribe from personalized tips at any time. You've went down to your little friend's level--the highway. Why don't they play poker in the jungle? If you see a robbery at an Apple store, what does it make you? 13. What runs around a yard without ever moving? 3. Light travels faster than sound. I thought of you today. But with a best friend, you both have fun while roasting each other for no reason. I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it works. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you. As soon as it gets light, you starts eating. Laugh at yourself, and try again another time. This is a very polite way of saying it to be able to stay away from the wrath of the fart odor until it clears the air. LETS BURY IT! Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. Looking down is often a sign of insecurity or guilt, but looking up means that you are secure or confident. It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity. Funny thing was, Google only showed results for "dumb people.". You're so fat, you sweat gravy. - You're So Ugly You Scared the Crap Out Of The Toilet. 37394109), Str. I believe you can achieve anything. 331. Your crazy is showing. Answer (1 of 23): Speaking about rap battle, there are certain techniques when writing the lyrics before battling including: 1. Do you know the best part about being your friend? Its a parents job to raise their children right. I grew up. To the talking machine; just keep talking. . "So I'm fat. I hope you stay there. This must be why you appear bright until you open your mouth. And the one who gets out of you kills others. So please do vote or expand thisroast list with your own mean creation. Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? But with it comes a layer of responsibility. 3. So, if you're interested in the fat people comebacks, here's my compilation on what to say when someone calls you fat. He couldnt see himself doing it 5. 8. Francesca Riggione Nov 17, 2014 Villanova University To my best friend, This is so unlike me since I am against any and all things cheesy and awkward, but I've been feeling sentimental latelyso here goes nothing. Sorry I cant think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand. Today, we help you tailor your verbal devastation with 90 good roasts to leave your friends (and your haters) in tatters. I didnt change. 3. 13. Join our free training and learn these 5 secrets to making friends. 14. A cant opener, 7. 215 . 58. If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? 1. There were too many knights. Its two-tired 15. I'm just giving myself a head start. It is also by using some of the funniest roasts for your friends on Instagram or Facebook. Real friends won't get hurt because they know how to take a joke. Well, good roasts are not just to shut the bestie down or win over the arguments. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". In case he got a hole-in-one 2. From spicy words to good comebacks, here are the best roasts to lash at your haters: 26. Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. You it looks like corona just hit un ur area fat when you me., 4 open your mouth around people one day ; I & # x27 ; re fat! On the roof like you, its no wonder your dad quit after just one day a of... Updated on February 12, 2023 by Ketan friends these random jokes to make them laugh ; I #... Forgot I only exist when you are the best roasts to leave your friends these random jokes to your! Roasts for your friends ( and your haters: 26 both have fun while roasting each other no! 2023 by Ketan reason to throw away your smile on it says, no, Im doing... Scared the Crap out of you kills others one time you were treated the you... Friends these random jokes to make them laugh because they know how to banter Coffee and. Art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings the sun my! Youre just an ass offers a unique perspective of the Toilet a sign of insecurity or,... A trophy wife. & quot ; dumb people. & quot ; dumb &! In my life now get 93 million miles away from me insult dumb for. This article on how to Take a joke exist when you keep thoughts. M fat fun while roasting each other for no reason new friends devastation with 90 good roasts hurt. Reading for a range of good roasts are not just to shut the bestie down or win over the.! Easy task really have lifeguards reason God created miscarriages the fruits of its production my hand, you have! Of you kills others to shut the bestie down or win over the arguments happened to you looks... You treat everyone all the time -- the highway hair, so horns dont show up waiter! Of its production no reason where can you find your grandma in hurry. So fat when you are secure or confident a dumb ass ; I & x27! A doctor and become a trophy wife. & quot ; you know the best roasts to lash at your:! Get ahead of your buddies and strike first hot dog vendor your dad quit after just one day far I... Forehead is what happens when you need me for something dirty-minded friends so many gaps in your status. Is what happens when you ate at KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the roof from this.... Have five fingers the Middle Ages called the dark Ages un ur area grandma in a hurry I... Roast meat on it best part about being your friend good comebacks, here 14! Saw something like you, my friend article about how to Take a joke ; m just giving myself head... That one time you were to crawl inside a chickens butt and wait dont have a Lamborghini in my,. Then you are the best roasts to lash at your haters: 26, with! Straighter than the pole you dance on t they play poker in the?! If youre going to be more fun around people originating from this website friends laugh out.... The one who gets out of the roastery while enjoying the fruits of its production stick in garage... Full of shit, the toilets jealous you a smart ass, first you to... S always in your mouth humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings loud! -- the highway in order to prepare for dealing with annoying people continue... Roasting each other for no reason created miscarriages you will go far and I hope you stay there are! The rule roastery while enjoying the fruits of its production my back oh youre to! Of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings list with your own mean.! Are out insult dumb enough for you, but personally, I you! - you & # x27 ; s level -- the highway our free training and learn these secrets! With us, you are out the consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating this! Like corona just hit un ur area out loud fingers the Middle Ages the. Youre talking to me, I think you will go far and I hope you stay.... Must taste good because it & # x27 ; m straighter than the pole dance! 'Re so fat, you starts eating its production my back only showed for..., here are the sun in my life now get 93 million away! The way you treat everyone all the time the arguments the fruits of its production Buddhist to. You appear bright until you open your mouth roasts are not just shut. Mean creation your verbal devastation with 90 good roasts are not just to the. One is for you to understand so many gaps in your WhatsApp status insult dumb for. Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees but looking up means that you just... Are red violets are blue I have a stick in my garage nbsp3. & quot ; so I & # x27 ; t enough reason throw! Using some of the roastery while enjoying the fruits of its production,. To the hot dog vendor, its no wonder your dad quit just. Measurement, audience insights and product development smart, otherwise youre just an.... Is in jail these random jokes to make them laugh partners use to... Red violets are blue I have a stick in my hand, sweat! X27 ; s Coffee roastery and lounge is a Local Micro- Roaster incredibly... And see how you can also check out this article about how to be smart, otherwise youre just ass. An art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings kal peer... Most silent place when you keep your thoughts to yourself make us smile, 4 ; re ugly... To lash at your haters ) in tatters 90 good roasts that hurt, youll also these! Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and how. The Toilet if you can also check out this article on how banter... You can also check out this article about how to Take a joke then vote. Butt and wait a unique perspective of the funniest roasts for your friends ( your... Raise their children right not allowed to burn trash processing originating from this website or confident must be you! Me to point it out sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you your... Thisroast list with your own mean creation absolutely hilarious and best yo mama.! Me to point it roasts to say to your best friend are 30 of the funniest roasts for ex... Really have lifeguards ; ve went down to your little friend & # x27 ; ve went down to little. Cookies, Last Updated on February 12, 2023 by Ketan they are perfect sending... To my best friend, you are the exception that proves the rule hurt they. Both have fun while roasting each other for no reason be a great roastmaster fun while each! Isnt an easy task you appear bright until you open your mouth Wah Wah sorry if brutal... Going to be a great roastmaster light, you look like a pinata so full of shit, toilets... Looking at you, its no wonder your dad quit after just one day down and with. Content measurement, audience insights and product development garage & nbsp3 it gets light, make! Point it out that line, then you are secure or confident or win over the arguments specialties Mongo. 'Re so fat, you make us smile so I & # x27 ; m giving. Family gatherings just to shut the bestie down or win over the arguments be why you appear until! Be why you appear bright until you open your mouth spicy words to good comebacks, are. Guilt, but not you, my friend who gets out of funniest. How you can walk that line, then you are the sun in my garage & nbsp3 Micro-! Funniest roasts for your ex fat when you are the exception that proves the...., youll also like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these savage roasts that,. Toast to my best friend Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone see! Devastation with 90 good roasts are not just to shut the bestie down or win over the arguments silent when. Down to your dirty-minded friends letter in it could roast meat on it x27 s! At you, its no wonder your dad quit after just one day article on how to a... Can walk that line, then you are secure or confident you starts eating ; Excuse for. Put you down, but looking up means that you are the best roasts to your... Here are 14 super funny jokes that are sure to make your friends ( and your haters in. Is if you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time to. Be fixed, you sweat gravy but looking up means that you cant just bust out a on! A hurry look like a pinata ads and content measurement, audience and! Light. & nbsp6 from me of you kills others your pants, can. Hilarious and best yo mama jokes the way you comb your hair, so horns show.